How do we determine between naughty behaviour and autistic features?

Had a very interesting conversation tonight with the besties, regarding lolly. We were talking about behaviours. I've had a particularly bad day with everything from the minute I woke going bad, from not getting ready for school, to the dog trashing my house, and someone smashing into the side of my car! It was all very fraught! (We're OK) we weren't in it thank god!!!

But I'd had a meeting at school with Senco, and so had to get little wee one looked after longer by nanny and so our after school routine had changed!! Oh dear god help me! She does not bode well with change and so her behaviour reflected on this! It was going well Untill I had to pop into the chemist, and it was urgent so it couldn't be avoided I HAD to take her in there! All hell broke loose, and she started flinging herself on the floor, trying to knock over stalls of medicine, going behind the checkout! You know just that general outsider bad behaviour! Ha
Outside the shop and she starts slapping me and kicking me and I had to restrain her at the car for her safety. It wasn't pleasant! Poor thing cried hysterically the whole way home. Luckily I have an automatic and so could at least hold and stroke her hand which I know she likes and calms her!

So after describing my day to my friends in the best way I know how - humorously, a question hovered to the surface of which my friend couldn't quite get out - so I finished it for him.

"How do I know when Lollys behaviours are a direct result of her being autistic or having ADHD or wether she's just being a normal child and being a little pickle"

I've asked this question before to my sister in law when her first child was diagnosed and lolly was still a baby!

The answer is quite simple, you know your child and every child wether autistic or not can a be a bit of a pickle sometimes. You'll understand your child's mannerisms and trigger points and sensory needs or aversions. You'll learn to quickly and promptly assess any given situation for anything that may have caused upset before the behaviours (in our case it was a serious case of change in routine) and if a reward or anything else can avert their attention from tantrum or meltdown. The likely hood of it being a meltdown is slim if for example you can distract the child with what he or she wants at the time. In this case it was make up! No she wasn't having any and even if I brought her some she may have calmed initially but all the triggers were there and she would have been set off by something else!

However when we got home, she wanted chocolate and I wouldn't allow this because it was nearly dinner time, she had a tantrum, but I didn't give in. If I would have she would have stopped her tantrum. And she was easily distracted. You see? Even autistic children can have normal behaviours!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, lolly may look like a spoiled brat on the streets slapping me because she couldn't have makeup, I may look like a pushover for not reprimanding her for kicking me and calling me names. BUT understand this- if you ever see this happening in front of you there's more than likely a whole other reason behind these behaviours and more importantly why the parent isn't disciplining as efficiently as you deem appropriate.

J