My sister loves me! No matter what!💗
The siblings of special needs children need special praise and attention for all that they do and have to live with.
Let's call them sibs! Now let's face it, sometimes there isn't enough time in the day to show these little Ray's of light and hope how much they actually mean to us and the special needs child in particular. Most of time were too exhausted to remember how much they have to put up with, or how much they need to help out. Sometimes we don't even see what they actually do as its just the "norm" in an un-normal life!
Sometimes even the rays of light and hope have special needs. Sometimes their special needs get overlooked due to one child needing so much 1:1 it's impossible to spread yourself evenly and fairly!
You might be in a position where you have two or more children with special needs (like me) I won't list all of the diagnoses we have as a family but let's just say there are a lot. Two have diagnoses of autism and other things and one is on the assessment list. So you can imagine how difficult it is when you have one with quite high needs, and two others that alter between having genuine bad days themselves and being an utter gem! I find it alternates between them when one is having a particularly good day the other is at a peak of high anxiety and hard to control. (For want of a better word)
Sometimes these little helpers get forgotten, told off for things that are particularly minor to what their big or little sister has just been calmed down for, or sometimes they even calm the child down on their own. My little moo ma never fails to surprise me. She is considerate of her big sisters feelings and so in tune with her that it melts my heart, sometimes I want to cry for the things that she helps her out with. Bringing her blankets, soothing her, just a look, or a "oh poor lolly pop"
When in a crisis and there's no adult around to help I have to bark orders at the others, get me this get me that, phone daddy, run a bath. These little things that actually mean so much are just brushed under the carpet. Swept away and forgotten Untill we need them again. On the rare occasion we manage to remember to thank them, but mostly the meltdown or situation that has just occurred is so frightfully exhausting for everyone that all we want to do is be in silence. We want to silently reflect on what happened what could have gone better, what went wrong in the first place. None of this matters of course because it's not going to be exactly the same the next time, I mean we always learn but the mistake of not doing something one time doesn't mean it's going to work next time. What we really need to be reflecting on is what went right! Who helped, what do THEY need now. They need praise, and gratitude, and love and a little little tiny slice of attention.
So this is a message to all of those Ray's of light and hope, little gems,
Thank you for always being there, thank you for making my job that teeny bit easier and thank you for understanding that mummy might not say it every time but I am eternally grateful that you're here and that most of all "you get it"
I felt a little bit of pain and guilt earlier today, moo had just come from an appointment where she had to have her finger redressed, she fell asleep on the way home as it was quite a journey and on the way back we went to pick up her sister and brother from the office as a last minute change of plan. As you know our special children don't do changes quite as easily as most people do and so anxiety was reaching a peak and we needed distraction and empathy to ease the meltdown that was imminent.
So Lolly gets in car growling and crying, very frustrated and moo instantly woke up to the sounds of her distressed sister and passed her her hand.
"Here lolly hold my hand" she said!
And so she did............💗
Eternally grateful is not enough! 💔
More time would be more useful!